Peanut Buttering

United Airlines flight "credit"

One of the benefits of having a blog is I can use it to publicly shame bad companies, right?

United airlines recently did me dirty.

I was considering canceling a flight but decided I'd only do it if I could get a reasonable refund from the cancellation, so I contacted United support and asked what I could do. They told me that yes, I could cancel the flight and get a credit back.

I asked how much credit I'd get. Their answer: "We are unable to provide the exact amount of the credit at this time."

Uhh... Can they really do that? Not telling me the amount is like buying something at a store but being told you'll only see the price once you've swiped your credit card and paid. How could I possibly decide whether I wanted to take the credit?

I explained as much to them, and they replied, "I understand. While we can't provide an exact amount, we can provide an estimate: around $800." Okay, amazing, and much more than I expected! I accepted the credit, since even if it ended up on the low side of the estimate, even as low as $200, I'd be satisfied.

This is where normally they would send me a survey asking how their support was, and I'd say 10/10 amazing, exceeded expectations, would recommend United to a friend.

Now flash forward to when I go to use the credit later. I apply it to the new flight I'm booking, drumroll audible as I wait to see how much it's worth. Kind of fun, like a scratch-off lottery ticket!

The page finishes loading and I see that the price of my $400 flight...

has increased...

by six thousand dollars.

What the fuck, United?

They completely bamboozled me. What, am I in debt to them now? What is even the meaning of a flight credit that makes your flight more expensive? Why would I ever use this? Why does the system even let them generate a credit like that?

The experience of trying to get them to fix my negative-value credit—despite attempting dangerous professional incantations—was painful, extraordinarily kafkaesque, and unsuccessful. So I'm stuck with it.

But if you'd like to purchase my flight credit, please let me know! While I can't tell you exactly how much it'll cost you, I estimate it'll be somewhere between negative eight thousand dollars and ten million dollars.